Things I'm Allergic To

• Penicillin
• Cantaloupe
• Fire Ants
• Wool
• Chicken
• Smoke
• Math
• Dashboard Confessional
  

Co-workers

A: We should do something together!
K: Okay! Like what?
A: Something good for us.... Active, ya know?
K: We could take an aerobics class!
A: Yeah.....or a dance-aerobics class?
K: Or we could be in a play!
A: I can't sing.
K: You don't have to sing.
A: Yeah but I can't act.
K: Oh.
A:....... But I was an extra in a real movie one time!
K: We should do that!! Let's be extras in movies!!!
A: Okay!!!

A: Wait.......Just so you know...I don't do porno.

Height of Luxury.

I only shit on the finest of crystals.

The Miracle of Life.....and thumb drives.