Point of Etiquette

As published in Godey's Lady's Book January 1850

"We may as well mention here, for the sake of the other sex, that loud thumping with canes and umbrellas, in demonstration of applause, is voted decidedly rude. Clapping the hands is quite as efficient, and neither raises a dust to soil the dresses of the ladies, not a hubbub enough to deafen them. "

Agreed.

Enchanting.

Cutest Things in the World

* Miniature Saltine crackers
*Sparkly pony stickers
*Babies who wear legwarmers
*Kermit the Frog (especially when you get to see his little Froggy legs dancing)
*My doggy when she rests her head on my shoulder
*The stapler on my desk that is in the shape of a chicken
*Paperclips in fun shapes
*Duckies (JUST LOOK AT THIS LIL' GUY!!!)
*Hoodies (and the songs that are made up about them)
*AMAZING Poetry by AWESOME people (That's right I'm talkin' about you, Trizzle)
*Tiny plastic mermaids
*Bunnies snuggling with puppies
*My robin's egg blue iPod Nano
*My purple faux crocodile wallet
*When my grandpa tells me to drive safe at the end of all phone chats. Regardless of if I'm going to be driving any time soon
*Baby bears
*When my dear friends Mama and Papa Watson hold hands, wear pimp hats and sing karaoke


Feel free to add on to my list! It's good to appreciate the cuteness in this world.

Rapturous

Do you ever worry about what will happen to all of your unsaved friends and family just after the Lord lifts the rest of us GOOD people up to heaven? Got an extra $40 layin' around? Aren't you just aching to send them one last email about the glory of Christianity, but are afraid you'll be too busy frolicking in the clouds and playing your harp on the good side of those pearly gates to even think about logging onto your Yahoo account? Thank goodness we're not the only ones worrying about such pressing matters. Here's your chance to let them all know that, "Yes, in fact you've been left behind."

I am particularly impressed with the fail-proof system they have in place for determining when the Rapture has in fact occured. Five dedicated Christian representatives from around the country (because who even cares about the rest of the world) have been selected to log in to the website every three days. If three of the five fail to do so at this predetermined frequency, the Rapture has indeed occurred. Ya know...or they were on vacation. Or the power went out. Or their computers broke.....so basically, most likely the Rapture has occurred.

This will prompt a message full of apocolyptic scripture (God's honest truth) to be electronically delivered from beyond to 62 of my most heathenistic friends and family members telling them to repent immediately.

Let's face it. It's probably too late for those sinners to convince God to save them from the fire and brimstone, but as a GOOD Christian, you want to make sure that you get one last chance to let them know that you were right and they were wrong. BIG TIME. Neener-Neener.