Glitter Paint Pony

Broadway Baby

2010-02-07T08:00:00.000-08:00

I'd like to be singing cabaret songs in this outfit alongside my dear friend and duet partner Katie and then we'd go out for drinks and fondue looking damn adorable.

Items in this set:
Clothing at Tesco | F&F Signature Angora blend cardi > cardigans >...,
Great Plains Tailored Trousers,
Johnston & Murphy: Julia Mary Jane Pump,
Lola Rose Black Agate Semi Precious Stone Faceted Disc Earrings With...,
Purple resin bangles,

Sunday in the Park

2010-02-06T08:00:00.000-08:00

I'd like to take an early evening stroll through the park in this outfit and then sit in a gazebo, holding hands with my honey, sipping on hot apple cider.

Items in this set:
Long Sleeve Scoop Top,
Season Opener Vest-Mod Retro Indie Clothing & Vintage Clothes,
Womens Favorite Boyfriend Jeans - Dark Vintage,
メンズカンマちゃんスニーカー,
Monsoon Accessorize - Printed Bow Trim Cap,

Bookworm

2010-02-05T09:42:00.000-08:00

I'd like to reshelve library books in this outfit and then take a break in a cafe with one I've checked out just for me.

Items in this set:

Miriam Bow Cardigan by Yuki**,
Mod Retro Indie Clothing & Vintage Clothes,
In the Bow Heels in Chestnut-Mod Retro Indie Clothing & Vintage...,
Marc by Marc Jacobs - Fancy Heart Earrings (Tortoise) - Jewelry,
Ascensiononline.com : Nkuku Naveena Chunky Bangle at Ascension,

Green with Envy

2010-02-04T17:11:00.000-08:00

I'd like to be going to Ireland (like a certain lovely cousin of mine!) in this outfit where I would search for shamrocks and leprechauns and learn all about pubs first hand. Pub...Pub.

Items in this set:
Cream Lace Insert Blouse,
Womens Favorite Boyfriend Jeans - Dark Vintage,
The Frye Company,
Edan's Emerald Green CZ Cocktail Ring,
emerald brooch

Cultured Pearl

2010-02-04T14:22:00.000-08:00

I'd like to take a field trip to the museums downtown in this outfit and then stop for an afternoon cupcake.

Items in this set:
Crumpet Cashmere tank top,
Scalloped Leaflet Cardigan,
Ivanka Skirt-Mod Retro Indie Clothing & Vintage Clothes,
Aphrodite Heels-Mod Retro Indie Clothing & Vintage Clothes,
Oasis Pearl Diamante Stretch Bracelet,

Walkin' on Sunshine

2010-02-04T12:17:00.000-08:00

I'd like to skip through a farmer's market in this outfit and then twirl in a meadow and pick wildflowers.

Headband: Wide Headband in Yellow
Cardigan: The Blue Room Cardigan
Skirt: Confectioner's Sugar Skirt
Shoes: Life on the Wedge in Mustard

Some stuff I want.

2010-01-29T12:20:00.000-08:00

Morris!! You little cutie!!! Come live on my desk!!!

Sweetheart Sunnies! You make me think of being a little kid with my hair in pigtails, my own bag of potato chips in hand, getting ready for a trip to the playground.

Cheese spreaders for all occasions! I love cheese. I love miniature cutlery. I love a theme.

Lady Lass Hoodie! You are sold out right now, but you'd be a welcome addition to my closet!

So there that is. I love stuff. And things. And belongings.

Stronger and Younger

2010-01-07T16:01:00.000-08:00

We're sitting on the carpeted stairs, holding hands, looking up to the light in the hallway.

"I know you're sad. When you look back on 2009 you'll always be sad. Because the 2009 me is gone. But... I'm coming back."

"You are? How?"

"It will be confusing. Even to me. The 2009 me will always be gone, but the 2010 me will be here. So when you tell people about me, I'll be both here and gone."

That was the first dream a few months ago.

Last night I got the second dream.

We're sitting in lawn chairs in her front yard holding hands under her crab apple tree.

"How are you?"

"I'm okay. I'm still pretty sick, but I'm getting better. I don't mind being sick. I'm stronger than when you saw me last in person."

"I'm glad for that."

"I'm getting better. And....I'm getting younger."

I wake up feeling a strange energy. Like excitement and comfort at the same time. I think that every year sees some balance of good and bad.

There are many wonderful things in store for this next year.

Some that I have been planning and can see clearly....

and perhaps some not.

We rehearsed A LOT.

2009-11-13T09:22:00.000-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Ya' Turkey!

2009-10-29T16:56:00.000-07:00

Oh my, people can be awkward. Recently I attended a bridal function that included various vendors. There we met one of the good lord's more interesting children. She had what I might call, "a touch of the crazy eyes."

I want to paint an accurate picture here. Think of the female version of Dr. Steve Brule and you'll be pretty much right on the money. Don't know who Dr. Steve Brule is? Well, let's fix that...

Now take that manner of speaking, girl up the hair just a tad, and add in this little gem of a monologue:

"This centerpiece here is a pumpkin. It has other elements in it too. Pumpkins are in the season, so it's unique. You can bring it all together for your tables. And what I'm trying to say with that is that....we can make all your dreams come true."

Our faces were frozen in a polite smile; our heads nodding up and down.

Public speaking and delivering sales pitches may not be her forte. But heck...for all I know...she really can make all my dreams come true...

Don't It Always Seem to Go

2009-10-27T16:26:00.000-07:00

I was listening to some music on Grooveshark today and got an urge to look up and listen to all of Amy Grant's music. I've been a fan since I was a little kid. Her's was the very first concert I ever went to. I was about 7 or 8 years old. Some combination of her, the Little Mermaid and Annie Warbucks made me want to be a singer.

So today I was listening and humming along with some of Amy's songs when her version of "Big Yellow Taxi" came on. I was immediately whisked away from my day job and back into my childhood.

Fall 1994:
Mom and I drive around town running various errands in our Station Wagon. I'm probably dressed in something like brightly colored leggings, a festive fall sweater, hair in a side pony tail or double french braids. The soundtrack to this outing, is the recently released albumn "House of Love." About 3/4 of the way through "Big Yellow Taxi" we park at our intended destination, Michaels (possibly MJ Designs), but we still have some 'mmmm, bop bop bop bop'ing to do before the song is over. We sit in the car and sing the rest of the song at the top of our lungs. People can probably hear us in the parking lot, but we don't care. It's a beautiful, crisp fall day and we are together and singing. It doesn't get much better than that. We head into the store and gather our things. I think mom even let me pick out one of these silly animal figurines I was obsessively collecting at the time.

It's a really specific memory. Just a regular day. But lovely. A simple, yet perfect snapshot of how I think of my relationship with my mom. It makes me miss being a kid and really makes me excited to have my own kids one day. I hope I can be half the mom she is.

I may have teared up at work today remembering this. I'm so excited for her and my dad to come visit in a little less than a month. I miss them.

"With a pink hotel, a boutique, and a swingin' hot spot."

Just some stuff...

2009-10-23T16:05:00.000-07:00

"I have a head for business and a bod for sin. Is there anything wrong with that?"

Can I live here?
I pretty much adore how excited this kiddo is. I bet I'd have a similar look on my face.
Gimme Gimme
Listen to this show daily at HIGH NOON, or you can download the podcast. Imaginary Radio Genius.
Oh how I love this movie.

Where you been?

2009-10-23T15:22:00.000-07:00

Napping with this doggy-face-lovey-pup.

First Attempt

2009-07-21T08:33:00.000-07:00

Loosely sketched from an old photograph I found in a bag my mom sent me labeled "Photos of people you don't know" and then Exacto-knifed out of the paper. My first attempt at papercutting AKA scherenschnitte. I'm completely inspired by this lady's work: http://madebyjulene.com/

I would love to be able to make things like she does someday. I'll keep at it. I need to get some better tools and some patterns for good practice. It is tedious work, but so fun to see it coming together.

This guy kind of looks like he's on fire. I didn't notice that until just now. Ah well. Sometimes you just light on fire I guess.

Translation: Awkward Part Deux

2009-05-08T11:55:00.000-07:00

“We have become increasingly dependent upon the web as a first point of contact for critical, strategic relationships.”

English Translation: "Our website should look pretty."

"I have......recently noticed.....a......a passing interest........from you.....in the......general subject of......Victorian Fashion."

English Translation: "I thought you might like this magazine."

"Sadly, I am not having a period right now. And I am increasingly bummed out about this."

English Translation: "I don't really have a style anymore. I wish I could go shopping for something new."

If the shoe fits...

2009-05-07T14:55:00.000-07:00

I am about two seconds away from

buying

all

these

and turning into "that crazy childless lady who stockpiles baby shoes.”

Money to Burn

2009-05-01T10:35:00.000-07:00

I have a good $300 to spend on something fun. I cannot make a decision and if I don't come to a reasonable, well thought out conclusion soon I am bound to blow it all on chap stick and headbands. Or something worse like groceries, god forbid.

Current top contenders:

1) Cute little camcorder to record important events for posterity. Things like adventures and the adorable way my dog blinks at me when she wants pizza. I don't even know if this is the best one, but it's pretty and shiny and red and would leave me a good $200 for chap stick and headbands.

2) Wii. Also Wii Fit. Does this even need an explanation? The sound of fun is right there in the name! Wheee!!! Wii!!!!

3) iPhone. I could do everything from my magical new phone! Knowing me, I could also promptly drop it, wash it, lose it, etc. And then I would have dropped/washed/lost my phone, music player, internet, planner, etc. I love the idea of getting one, but I don't know that I trust myself enough.

4)Lots of hoodies. How many hoodies does one girl need? Do I need this hoodie? NO!

5)I could go wild on etsy.com. That money would be gone in the blink of an eye.

What's a girl to do? Any votes on the matter? Additional suggestions? This is not a common problem for me and though I'm excited for new stuff, I'm a little stressed out by what that stuff should be! Help.

Translation: Awkward

2009-04-23T14:14:00.000-07:00

So it turns out I'm having to learn how to decipher the language of Awkward Robots. Here are some examples of the 'Socially Retarded to English Dictionary' I'm working on.

"I am overstimulated."

English Translation: "What a busy day!"

"Perhaps you have been fertilized."

English Translation: "The pollen count must be really high."

"Thank you for your contribution to our struggling economy."

English Translation: "I like your new shoes."

Sometimes people don't know how to interact with other people. It makes me laugh, but also makes me kind of sad for them.

Kindness Works

2009-03-18T09:23:00.000-07:00

Fluttering hands.

High pitched voices.
Sudden hushed voices.

Running from here to there in a frenzy!

Dear colleagues: It may be time to calm down. We all feel your stress. I know I'm not the only one. Guess who else is having anxiety as a result of you?

The stapler.

Probably all of the office supplies. And the doors too. You are slamming them and they really don't like it.

I've always been a strong advocate of manners and such. Towards people it's a no-brainer (well, for some...). Animals? Of course, we can see how they are feeling when we treat them a certain way. But I think it should extend to the inanimate. Just because they can't emote does not mean that they don't have a soul. (I'm not saying they for sure DO have one, but it couldn't hurt to just be a little nicer to all things, always, forever.)

You wonder why the stapler doesn't work? Maybe it is just sick and tired of being punched in the head like that. It works perfectly when you just use it like a rational human being who needs to staple something. Why are you acting like a rabid monkey whose father was maliciously killed by a stapler? Unnecessary force.

"Um Glitterpony? We need you to replace this stamp. It just spontaneously broke!!! WHAT A POORLY MADE, STUPID STAMP!!!!"

I think it was made just fine. Also, it is not stupid. Just fed up. Lost the will to live. You sucked the life out of a defenseless little stamp. Way to go.

Maybe just try being a little kinder. A little gentler. I bet your office supplies will last longer. Perhaps your employees too...

IN MEMORIAM:

Benevolent Visionary

2009-02-26T13:48:00.000-08:00

Death Becomes Her

2009-02-13T13:26:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been to a funeral or memorial service and just thought...."Man....This is a bummer"?

Well hey there sad clown.....let's put the FUN back into FUNerals!

And while we're at it....I mean...it kind of sucks that the party of your life is one that you can't even really go to.

Unless you have unfinished business.

Or turn into a guardian angel of someone who attends.

Or if god or whoever lets you attend for old time's sake.

Or if you count that your body is technically there.....

But whatever...you should have a LIFE CELEBRATION instead! Pretty much your funeral, but you get to be alive at it. That's not creepy at all.

Wondering why I'm on this whole funeral/death soap box? If you know me personally you will already be familiar with the fact that I do not have any interest in death, dead people, dead animals, ancient Egyptians, etc. In fact....get it away. If you think it's a good idea to mention your own death or your final wishes to me, I will burst into tears and beg you to shut your face because you are never ever ever dying, DO YOU HEAR ME GOD???!!!!!!!!

So why, you ask? Well...I was inspired yesterday by life events. I tend to be a magnet for strange and often times hilarious encounters. Most of the time I am completely by myself for these things and have no way of truly proving they happened. But rest assured, they did. I do not seek these things out, but I certainly praise the heavens each time a new party story/blog post gem reveals itself to me.

Last night I was driving to my play rehearsal. It was dark due to the whole phenomenon known as 'night time', and I was driving a twisty, turny, woodsy road. This meant that many details of the landscape did not jump out and force me to take notice. Luckily enough, the occasional streetlamp illuminated my view of the massive black suburban ahead of me. More specifically, their back window which was proudly advertising the following:

GRAND DEPARTURES
"Yes! A Funeral CAN be stylish and fun!"

I wildly grabbed at my cell phone and maneuvered the road while desperately searching for the camera feature. Alas, that damn 'night time' made my picture unrecognizable. Not even worth saving. *CLICK* Mental Picture. I spent the remainder of the drive attempting to memorize the moments. Vanity License Plate? Check!

"FUNRAL"

That's right. A FUN Funeral. Hmmm....

Naturally, I checked out their website as soon as I had the chance.

In all honesty, though I am generally intolerant of all things post-mortem, I actually don't think this is the worst idea ever. I don't have the stamina to contemplate my demise long enough to write out my own wishes (other than turning my remains into a freakin' DIAMOND thank you very much), but I also understand that if you're a fun person in life, that you should get to be remembered that way, rather than in a big old 'clad in black' festival of sad.

Also...my sense of humor makes me appreciate how wonderfully nontraditional this 'funeral wear' is (available for purchase on their website) :

So just take it from Judith Martin (who I am assuming commented on their services from the comforts of her afterlife)

“They carried out all of my wishes, I would offer their name to a neighbor in a heartbeat.”

Ya know...if she still has one....

Happy Weekend everyone and R.I.P.!

UPDATE: I do know this about my own death: If anybody DARES to donate my body to one of those creepy ass Dead Human Displays at the museums, I will most certainly haunt your ass for eternity.

A Religious Experience

2009-02-12T08:32:00.000-08:00

So last night I saw the sign. It opened up my eyes.

Our new bathroom's theme is the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. With a little dash of his mother Mary thrown in. Not like goofy, Buddy Christ, sort of stuff. Vintage, for realsies, someone was inspired to paint a portrait of the Prince of Peace, King of Kings and we are hanging it over our toilet. Very majestic.

There are two light switches in the bathroom. One controls a light above the shower. The other controls a light and a fan above the toilet. We were working with only the light above the shower while the other switch was in the off position.

As we were tenderly and prayerfully hanging the various tributes to God's only son, an out and out miracle occurred!

Just as we finished straightening the reproduction of the Last Supper mounted on a slice of tree from the Ozarks, the other light and fan all of a sudden came on. The switch was still down and I was nowhere near it!!!! Pembertron and I looked at each other in amazement.

"Did you just do that?"

"No, did you?"
"Nope."

"........"

"Try flipping the switch up."

I flip the switch up and the light and fan stay on.
I flip the switch down and the light and fan stay on.
I flip the switch up and the light and fan stay on.
I flip BOTH switches down and everything turns off.

".........."

"Try it again."

I flip each switch up one at a time and everything seems to have returned to normal.

"..........."

Nervous laughter
"Jesus."

Fascinating

2009-02-06T13:42:00.000-08:00

Brudduh

2009-02-04T09:01:00.001-08:00

Ahem. Oh. Excuse me. My brother has the amazing knack of crying like a widdle poopy pants baby. And also farting a lot. He loves it. It's his favorite thing. Wah Wah Wah widdle baby.

And 25 More...

2009-01-29T16:27:00.000-08:00

1) I recently learned a new way to wear a scarf. And I'm obsessed with it. (Thanks Yvanka!)

2) I am in the middle of moving and I have no idea where anything is.

3) I typically spend the last 3-5 minutes of my showers obsessively rinsing my hair. I have real anxiety thinking WHAT IF remnants of soap coating my tresses all of a sudden wildly bubble up from the top of my head at the first sign of rain.

4) Most satisfying sound: The KA-CHUNK of the date stamper.

5) My suggestion for how to obtain world peace? Coexist with Muppets. Seriously. Think about it. Oh, hey... ya know that war you planned on starting? Hold on a second while we all watch Kermit dance with his funny frog legs. Who feels like fighting now? Not me!

6) I love eating spaghetti and watching endless episodes of Law and Order.

7) I have never and will never like Indian food or Sushi. So don't make me try it again. Thank you.

8) I don't camp. Or hike. Or climb mountains. Or endanger my life for a momentary rush of adrenaline.

9) I own a stapler that looks like a chicken.

10) I attend an annual Murder Mystery Weekend with my grandparents. And we wear fake mustaches.

11) I can sing all of the United States in alphabetical order.

12) I have written a draft for a children's book. Maybe someday I'll try to do something with it.

13) I have the "hitchhiker's thumb" just like my dad and my grandpa. No current plans to actually hitchhike.

14) I have the same feet as my mom, grandma, female cousins, and aunt. And boy are they cute!

15) I love how the pages of a spiral notebook feel when you've filled them with notes. All crinkly and like they have fulfilled their earthly purpose.

16) When I run (which is not often) it feels like all of my blood rushes into my gums and it makes my teeth hurt.

17) I recently diagnosed myself with a flesh eating disease and gave myself approximately 2 months to live. Turns out they were just stretch marks from my recent blossom into owning a more womanly figure. AWESOME.

18) My dad has an amazing knack for winning radio contests.

19) My mom has an amazing knack for memorizing exact shades of color.

20) My dog has an amazing knack for pouncing on my stomach in the wee hours of the morning.

21) I gave myself one of the motivation stickers I have at my desk today. I felt I deserved it even if nobody else did.

22) There are four tiny plastic mermaids sitting in a tiny trophy cup labeled "Valued Colleague Award". Sometimes I like to pretend they are relaxing in a luxurious hot tub.

23) I coined the swear "Fart Basket." I think it's going to sweep the nation.

24) I love love love wearing my nametag.

25) I share my general birthyear with the My Little Ponies AND the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Happy Birthday to us!

16 Thingy Things

2009-01-21T11:13:00.000-08:00

1) I am moving in 12 days. I've done a lot, but OH GOD I have a lot to do.

2) More often than not I have a package of watermelon flavored gum in my purse.

3) Much to the chagrin of my grandparents, I have 6 tattoos... and counting.

4) I like hugs from the right kinds of people, purple, glitter, smooshy pillows and crappy tv.

5) I want to be a librarian, a bookstore owner, a novelist, a mom, a Broadway star, a professional volunteer, and a mermaid when I grow up.

6) I have made my bed every morning of 2009!! (Oh...except those two days that I was sick and never actually left the bed. That's okay, right?)

7) I had a wart on my hand for a long time that just grew and grew and grew and grew until I thought TLC was going to offer me my own disgusting Sunday Night special called "The Girl with the Hideous Deformity Covering Her Once Delicate Hand." Anyway...it has since fizzled away along with my dreams of shock value stardom. Sigh...

8) I am prone to having my feelings hurt. But I have a tiny rhinocerous living under my computer monitor at work. He reminds me to have tough skin.

9) There is a cup full of Hershey Kisses that somebody put on my desk. I am NOT eating them. NOT EATING THEM.

10) I wish that people were more polite. I could use a few more pleases and thank yous.

11) I love trivia and the idea of being an expert on something. Someday I hope to be some kind of aficionado. Side note: Aficionado is a GREAT word. Say it out loud right now! It's fun! Try it!

12) Damn it. I ate a Hershey Kiss. I am weak.

13) I watched the news coverage last night of President Obama making appearances at all 10 Inaugural Balls. Poor guy must have been wiped out. We had fun giggling about how he seemed to be getting looser and sillier as the evening went on. Yay Obama, by the way!!!

14) Ya know how songs get stuck in your head sometimes? Do you ever just get a word stuck in your head? I've had a word stuck in my head for the last week or so and I have had no reason to actually use it. Maybe that's why it's stuck there, I don't know. But when my brain is too tired to think of the task at hand, or if I'm just starting to relax and doze off, all of a sudden my mind whispers "Chimichanga".....Anyone else? No? Just me? Hmmm...

15) I am totally thrilled when people comment on my blog. Sometimes I think it would be amazing to be a professional blogger. Maybe when I'm done being a mermaid I can try my hand at blogging for a living.

16) The following items are at my desk right now: 3 uncapped pens, a box of tiny candy canes, 2 different bottles of pain relievers (regular and extra strength), a postcard of Green Gables, and a box of '200 Motivation Stickers'.

Kitchen

2009-01-15T15:54:00.000-08:00

“I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refrigerator, blender.... all you do is say what the shit does, and add "er". I wanna work for the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute. Hey, what does that do? It keeps shit fresh. Well, that's a fresher....I'm going on break.”-Mitch Hedberg

KITCHEN STUFF

Don't worry...I'm covering my cough.

2009-01-14T13:14:00.000-08:00

Rain
by Shel Silverstein

I opened my eyes
And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into my brain,
And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.

I step very softly,
I walk very slow,
I can't do a handstand-- I might overflow,
So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said--
I'm just not the same since there's rain in my head.

_____________

This poem (along with the picture shown below) is a pretty accurate rendering of how an upper respiratory infection makes you feel. FYI.

I think it just called me mommy

2008-12-19T08:58:00.001-08:00

Sometimes things want me to adopt them, take them home, and love them forever. If I don't, I wind up feeling guilty, like I've seen a tiny child shivering in the snow without a coat and rather than bundling them up and making them some soup, I have just said "I don't care what happens to you. Be on your way little waif." Heartless and cruel. See....I'm not GREEDY. I'm actually really selfless for wanting to open my heart and home to these wayward widdle babies.

Examples of innocent little vagabond children that need my love and warm soup:

Tiny Pony in Jar
Do you see that little face? He needs me! The caption even asks me directly if I'll take him home!

G is for Giraffe
Too tall for flowers, but not too tall for a hug from yours truly!

The Blue Bird of Happiness and the Little Red Bird of Crankiness
Which one will I be today?

Rody
I can't explain why I need him. But I do.

Bird Circle
Tweet!

Piggies!
Oink!

And so, dear things, I am truly sorry that I currently cannot financially support your presence in my home. You should know however, that you are loved.

Things That Rock!

2008-12-18T15:34:00.000-08:00

Burt's Bees Replenishing Lip Balm
My lips, which moments ago were chapped and ouchy are now smooth and well....replenished!

JR Watkins Apothecary Lemon All-Purpose Cleaner
Not only does this stuff smell good, clean well, and have pleasing-to-the-eye packing, but it is also the following:

Amonia Free
Animal Ingredient Free
Benzene Free
Biodegradable
Boron Free
Butyl/Ethyl Free
Clorine Free
Diethelene Ethyl Free
Dye Free
Formeldahyde Free
Petrochemical Free
Isopropenal Free
Kerosene Free
Mineral Spirit Free
Non Toxic
Phosphate Free
Phosphoric Acid Free
Propelyne Glycol Free
SLS Free
Sulferic Acid Free

Post-it Highlighter Pen
Highlight! Flag! Highlight! Flag! Office supplies make my heart joyful.

Aveeno Calming Comfort Baby Lotion
For a lady with crazy sensitive skin, this stuff is pure magic in lotion form. I try to use Aveeno products for most things because I find that being consistent with the brands I use helpful in the care of my skin.

Hugg-A-Planet
Sometimes we just need to hug something. And sometimes it feels like the whole world needs a hug. Problem solved!!!

Lots of other things rock, but I just felt the need to sing the praises of those particular items this afternoon. More to come!

Glitter Paint Pony's Pony Parade!

2008-12-16T15:24:00.000-08:00

Help me Obi-Wan Kepony. You're my only hope.

I pity the foal!

Those aren't scars! I'm a magical pony!
I was simply eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches filled with hopes and wishes!

Edward Scissor Hooves

All the single ponies, All the single ponies
Oh, oh, oh

Great Gift Idea

2008-12-12T11:58:00.000-08:00

I play Jots and Tittles all the time.
But it has nothing to do with Bible Trivia.
GASP!
*wink

The Greatest Story of All

2008-12-11T16:05:00.000-08:00

Mary? Check!

Joseph? Check!

Baby Jesus? Check!

Random farm animals? Check!

Angels? Check!

3 Wise Men? Check!

Drunken hobo wearing a cape?CHECK!

Sigh....my favorite part of the story has always been when the drunken hobo in a cape gave the baby Jesus the most majestic birthday present of all...

Half of a week old breakfast sausage and a Coca Cola bottle filled with his pee.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

My Great Great Great Uncle....i think

2008-12-08T09:56:00.000-08:00

I mean I know he's my uncle of some greatness. And it sounds like he was pretty great. I'm just not a hundred percent how many greats he gets in his association with me. His claim to fame was designing the font "Bell Gothic", commonly seen on your computers as well as in your phone books. Fancy, eh?! I love looking at this picture of him. I like to think we have the same eyes. Maybe?

Chauncey H. Griffith (1879–1956), American printer and typeface designer.

Sounds like somebody needs to sing a Christmas carol

2008-12-05T09:13:00.000-08:00

I wish everyone was filled with joy and jolliness at this time of year. I know a lot of people are. Little kids are. I try to be. I was watching the news this morning and they were talking about how your happiness is directly effected by the happiness of those around you. Even more reason for me to work really hard at being upbeat and positive. It's hard when people are always trying to SUCK THE JOY out of life. Joysuckers. You know who you are.

Dos and Don'ts for the season

When I am hanging up decorations, go with your first instinct!

Be excited about the snowflakes!
Go ahead and exclaim "Snowflakes! Pretty!"

DON'T

Continue with "That one doesn't match. It's completely out of place."

Yeah. Great. Thanks.
NO TWO SNOWFLAKES ARE ALIKE, DOUCHE BAG.

Be welcoming and excited to have as many willing voices as possible
join in your festive holiday refrain!

DON'T

Glare at me and grumpily retort "Great. Now there are too many sopranos.

You shouldn't be allowed to join our choir unless you bring a man with you." Wow.

How very charitable and Christ-like of you, you cranky old church broad.

Embrace the happy accident of your sign malfunctioning and
turn it into a lovely holiday tradition!

DON'T

Be a joysucking journalist and accuse those who are full of the spirit of goodwill and

magic of only seeking attention.

"The company did it on purpose. And is looking for publicity. Suddenly we felt cheap and used. A patsy for a holiday promotional stunt. Our belief in the magic of Christmas shattered."

Sure! Of course it probably helps their business, but it also fills me with glee when I exit the Interstate. I would like to think that that is their true motivation.*

*Okay...so their article got more positive and apparently the majesty of it all worked it's Grinch-transforming power over them and "warmed their cockles, our Christmas spirit rekindled, our faith in humanity restored."

I guess what I'm saying is that I would like our first, last, and constant state of mind to be as cheerful and happy as possible. I am by no means claiming to be a master at this. It is hard to get out of a funk once you're in it. Still....that should be no excuse.

This season I am going to vow to stay as shimmery and festive in my attitude as humanly possible. If some one's negativity starts to change my outlook I will try my best to remember that perhaps my positivity could change theirs. I would like to believe that we all have naturally good tendencies. We want to be happy and to make others happy. It can't possibly be that hard if we just stay conscience of the impact we have on others.

So all together now! Deep cleansing breath. Aaaaaand....GO!

If I were a celebrity...

2008-12-04T15:21:00.000-08:00

I would name my babies the following (Boy or Girl? You be the judge!):

Cinsere

Cam'ron

Legend

Shasta

Xev

Nimue

Banner

Labirynth

Quewhin (pronounced Kevin)

Feel free to comment with more suggestions!

It's All About Me

2008-12-02T08:56:00.000-08:00

HowManyOfMe.com

There are
1
or fewer people with my name in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Things I'm Allergic To

2008-11-25T12:59:00.000-08:00

Penicillin
Cantaloupe
Fire Ants
Wool
Chicken
Smoke
Math
Dashboard Confessional

Co-workers

2008-11-20T09:18:00.000-08:00

A: We should do something together!
K: Okay! Like what?
A: Something good for us.... Active, ya know?
K: We could take an aerobics class!
A: Yeah.....or a dance-aerobics class?
K: Or we could be in a play!
A: I can't sing.
K: You don't have to sing.
A: Yeah but I can't act.
K: Oh.
A:....... But I was an extra in a real movie one time!
K: We should do that!! Let's be extras in movies!!!
A: Okay!!!

A: Wait.......Just so you know...I don't do porno.

Height of Luxury.

2008-11-14T11:40:00.001-08:00

I only shit on the finest of crystals.

The Miracle of Life.....and thumb drives.

2008-11-13T10:36:00.000-08:00

Meet My Hero. Meat, My Hero.

2008-11-13T08:40:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I just stole this from Fail Blog, but I pretty much love it.

Dear Wind,

2008-11-12T16:56:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry for using such strong and hateful language. I don't hate you, but you are a pest sometimes. The whole umbrella shenanigan you pulled this morning? Not cool. The crazy swirly nest you turn my hair into? Not my favorite. Mostly you are a bad influence on our friend the rain. Independently the two of you are just fine, but when you get together you turn into pesky, naughty little school boys who aren't bad or evil, but get into trouble all the same. Again I apologize. In the future I will try to praise you for your gentle breezes through the trees and all of your help with pollination. All I ask is that you calm down a little bit. Maybe it's time to lay off the sugar.

Sincerely,

GlitterPaintPony

Stupid Wind

2008-11-12T08:24:00.000-08:00

Stupid wind just flipped my umbrella inside out. That's always so embarrassing, though I'm not sure why. There's nothing you can do about it and it happens to everyone. But then, as my umbrella righted itself, it swung into the coffee cup I was holding in my other hand and spilled it all over my pretty coat. Argh. So frustrating. But again. Who am I mad at? It's not my fault. It's not anyone's fault.... Except the wind. I hate the wind.

Stupid wind.

Hey....remember that time....

2008-11-11T08:40:00.000-08:00

Hey....remember that time when I was gonna have a blog and then I was gonna write in my blog and then I was gonna hope that people read the things that I wrote in my blog because I was a blogger and was regularly writing things for people to read in my blog?

Oops.

33x365

2008-10-03T08:00:00.000-07:00

M.V.: Cologne-Drenched Mulitilinguist

32x365

2008-10-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

T.K.: Ultimate in Douchebaggery

31x365

2008-10-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

Dr. Waller: Wise-Cracking Gynocologist

30x365

2008-09-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

D.Lo.: Easily Offended Dancer

29x365

2008-09-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

B.Kennedy: Wedded Stallion

28x365

2008-09-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

Mr. Low: Jolly OKRA!

27x365

2008-09-27T08:00:00.000-07:00

A.T.: Naturally Curly Chuck Norris Poster

26x365

2008-09-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

Nanners: Puppeteering Goddess

25x365

2008-09-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

Hoot: Snuggly Puddin'

24x365

2008-09-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

DJ: Jazzy Cradle-Robber

23x365

2008-09-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

DHarn: Lesbian Communicator

22x365

2008-09-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

Brookey: Finger Sucking Fit Thrower

21x365

2008-09-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

Bellhajl: Pompous Ponytail

20x365

2008-09-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

RonThom: Presidential Line-Jumper

19x365

2008-09-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

Katy L: Room-sharing Underwear-stealer

18x365

2008-09-18T08:00:00.000-07:00

Amanda M.: Spiffy Mandy!

17x365

2008-09-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

J.H.: Toxic Cow

16x365

2008-09-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

Jeremy: Barbequed Mistake

15x365

2008-09-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

James Brown: Godfather of Vocal Studies

14x365

2008-09-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

D. Tilt: Annoying Latin Passion

13x365

2008-09-13T08:00:00.000-07:00

E.S.: Drunken Bladder Infection

12x365

2008-09-12T08:00:00.000-07:00

Coach Walker: Mustachioed Molester

11x365

2008-09-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

Cory: Hesitant Lieutenant

10x365

2008-09-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

Sterling Gaston Ingle-Mead: Fancypants Tax Payer

9x365

2008-09-09T08:00:00.000-07:00

ConToll: Rambling Pastor

8x365

2008-09-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

L.B.: Bumbling Monkey Wrench

7x365

2008-09-07T08:00:00.000-07:00

Bill B.: Lonely Landscaper

6x365

2008-09-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

Arlene H: Forgetful Lunch Lady

5x365

2008-09-05T08:00:00.000-07:00

Arnie: Recovering Hand-Holder

4x365

2008-09-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

Aunt Bob: Ambiguous Neighbor

3x365

2008-09-03T08:00:00.000-07:00

A.N.: Entitled Jerk

2x365

2008-09-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

Andrew: Awkward Frog

1x365

2008-09-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

Alana: Cheerful Supervisor

THIS IS ONLY A TEST

2008-08-28T14:30:00.000-07:00

Just checking that this whole "pre-publishing" thing is working. :)

x365

2008-08-28T13:22:00.000-07:00

I'm excited for this!! It will be a challenging little project. Yvanka is doing one as well, so we will be keeping each other on track! Thank goodness for the pre-publishing feature on this here blog. It will be neat to see the differences and similarities between our lists. We know a lot of the same people, but may experience them differently. Plus we are each taking our own distinct approach as to the format. I'll let her explain her version, but mine will be very short 'definitions'. Approximately two to four words (generally an adjective and a noun) for each person in my life. It's challenging to distill your experience of a person down to that perfectly descriptive essence. Just a note: some of these may sound like funny juxtapositions, but keep in mind that both words pertain to the person, though not necessarily to one another. It will make more sense once I start posting my list. I'll try to have other entries to my blog, but for the most part you can count on one addition to my x365 list each day.

Woke Up It Was a Chelsea Morning

2008-08-18T11:14:00.000-07:00

I created this word cloud out of the lyrics of one of my favorite songs. This site is fun to play around on!

Lunchtime Heart to Heart + Confessions

2008-08-01T15:50:00.000-07:00

A young mother to her son: So how's life?

Young son: Well...I've been here for eleven years and I'm still not tired of it.

________________________________________________________

Confessions:
** I eavesdrop on your conversations and post them on my blog.
** I am tempted to punch teenagers in the neck. DAILY.
** I just ate a brownie AND a cookie.
** If left to my own devices, I could easily eat an entire family size bag of Cheetos (the puffy kind) in approximately a half an hour.
**I make my BF turn the television on real loud so that there is NO chance he can hear me pee.

Point of Etiquette

2008-07-30T12:31:00.000-07:00

As published in Godey's Lady's Book January 1850

"We may as well mention here, for the sake of the other sex, that loud thumping with canes and umbrellas, in demonstration of applause, is voted decidedly rude. Clapping the hands is quite as efficient, and neither raises a dust to soil the dresses of the ladies, not a hubbub enough to deafen them. "

Agreed.

Enchanting.

2008-07-29T16:49:00.000-07:00

Cutest Things in the World

2008-07-25T10:30:00.000-07:00

* Miniature Saltine crackers
*Sparkly pony stickers
*Babies who wear legwarmers
*Kermit the Frog (especially when you get to see his little Froggy legs dancing)
*My doggy when she rests her head on my shoulder
*The stapler on my desk that is in the shape of a chicken
*Paperclips in fun shapes
*Duckies (JUST LOOK AT THIS LIL' GUY!!!)
*Hoodies (and the songs that are made up about them)
*AMAZING Poetry by AWESOME people (That's right I'm talkin' about you, Trizzle)
*Tiny plastic mermaids
*Bunnies snuggling with puppies
*My robin's egg blue iPod Nano
*My purple faux crocodile wallet
*When my grandpa tells me to drive safe at the end of all phone chats. Regardless of if I'm going to be driving any time soon
*Baby bears
*When my dear friends Mama and Papa Watson hold hands, wear pimp hats and sing karaoke

Feel free to add on to my list! It's good to appreciate the cuteness in this world.

Rapturous

2008-07-17T15:21:00.000-07:00

Do you ever worry about what will happen to all of your unsaved friends and family just after the Lord lifts the rest of us GOOD people up to heaven? Got an extra $40 layin' around? Aren't you just aching to send them one last email about the glory of Christianity, but are afraid you'll be too busy frolicking in the clouds and playing your harp on the good side of those pearly gates to even think about logging onto your Yahoo account? Thank goodness we're not the only ones worrying about such pressing matters. Here's your chance to let them all know that, "Yes, in fact you've been left behind."

I am particularly impressed with the fail-proof system they have in place for determining when the Rapture has in fact occured. Five dedicated Christian representatives from around the country (because who even cares about the rest of the world) have been selected to log in to the website every three days. If three of the five fail to do so at this predetermined frequency, the Rapture has indeed occurred. Ya know...or they were on vacation. Or the power went out. Or their computers broke.....so basically, most likely the Rapture has occurred.

This will prompt a message full of apocolyptic scripture (God's honest truth) to be electronically delivered from beyond to 62 of my most heathenistic friends and family members telling them to repent immediately.

Let's face it. It's probably too late for those sinners to convince God to save them from the fire and brimstone, but as a GOOD Christian, you want to make sure that you get one last chance to let them know that you were right and they were wrong. BIG TIME. Neener-Neener.

Nature.

2008-07-16T08:43:00.000-07:00

Story hour

2008-07-08T13:35:00.000-07:00

Our campus hosts conferences during the summer, so oftentimes our cafeteria is packed full of odd combinations of people like barbershop quartets and nurses, basketball players and quilters, and my favorite, cheerleaders and mormon pre-teens.

Today, the cheerleaders have taken over, so my seating options were limited. I chose a table with 8 chairs around it, which is just asking for strangers to join me. Sure enough, two elderly gentlemen in shortsleeves and ties asked if they could sit at my table. I commented that it can be difficult to find a good spot.

The man to my left said, in a polite southern drawl as he gestured to a ridiculously adorned chili dog, "Well, I'll tell you somethin' Miss. As soon as I take a bite of this, it'll have no trouble finding a good spot." And then he chuckled and patted his belly.

From what I can tell, they sold insurance for a living and were simply on a little jaunt over to our cafeteria for a snack. They spent their (and my) lunch hour telling all sorts of gruesome tales.

"I knew a woman who ran over her son with a lawn mower. It ripped all his insides out onto the grass. He lived, but he's kind of slow, and I bet his mom feels pretty bad."

They thanked me for sharing my table and went on their way.

Good times in higher education.

This is my dance space.

2008-07-08T08:57:00.000-07:00

I have a genetic predisposition towards getting stuck in close proximity to less than desirable individuals. They may be smelly, touchy-feely, or any other version of annoying. At the movies, they are loud-talking, seat-kicking adults who should know better. Or even worse...confrontational pre-teens.

In fact, I'm on a plane right now and my preciously limited space is seriously being encroached upon. The man next to me would most certainly be offered a lude public bathroom stall service, judging by the wideness of his stance. His arm is slowly but surely creeping past his fair share of the arm rest, which I have chosen to not even touch. When he first sat down he gave me a dweeby smile that said "Hey new friend. Are you ready for some fun?" No. No. I'm not. We're not friends. Here, have some bitch-vibes.

Then he flipped the arm rest between us up and leaned into my space. Oh hell no. I require that barrier. I like to envision a germ-blocking forcefield directly separating my dance space from whatever strange human's I am unlucky enough to be assigned next to. If this man deactivates it, I will probably cry, sissy slap him until he scoots over, and then develop a severe case of whatever disease I happen to imagine him having.

I looked at the man like, "Uh. No." and then flipped it back down. We eyed each other awkwardly. Awesome. Now we get to share this yard of airplane for the next hour. I can't wait. Now please move your effing elbow back to your side. Thanks.

Here Comes the Sun, Doo Doo Doo Doo....

2008-07-03T10:52:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was absolutely gorgeous, which meant it was time to break out the summer dresses, flip-flops, sunglasses and a ridiculously high spf sunscreen.

On my way to a lovely outdoor cafe where I planned to meet up with Yvanka to enjoy the loveliness of the day, I realized my car was pretty much devoid of all gas. Whoops. I pulled into the station, which was highly populated with other weather-appropriately clad folks.

Full sunshine is a rare commodity here, so when it graces us with its presence, our vitamin D deficient brains turn us all into silly, jolly, grinning fools. I love it.

One dude at the gas station, who on any other gloomy day is probably a badass motherfucker, was practically frolicking he was so drunk on sunshiney goodness. Picture cornrows, wifebeater, prison tatts, and a big dopey grin. He exited the convenience store with a spring in his possibly gang affiliated-Nike shoe wearin' step. He was so smiley in fact, that I had to return the kindess with a little "hello" and a wave. He began filling his junker of a car, which was blasting the scary kind of hip-hop. Something about "smackin' yo' bitch on the way to the club where you're gonna do it with a ho on the bar after layin' a five on it (which apparently has something to do with drugs)." Whatever. Have I mentioned how very, very white I am?

"Gonna go enjoy this nice weather we're having today?" says Snoop Double Jizzle

"Why, yes, I certainly am!"

"Me too. I'm gonna go out on my yacht right after I take a shower."

"That sounds nice."

"Yeah...and then I'm gonna get fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked up."

"Well.....enjoy!"

Happy Summer!

Religious Complexities

2008-07-01T10:39:00.000-07:00

I work at a church. I am in the very regular habit of questioning EVERYTHING the moment I step through the doors of "God's house." It takes every ounce of my will power to not roll my eyes and let out big 'HARUMPH" noises during the service.

I'm an awful heathen.

I remember the paycheck and the appreciation of all of the devout old folks in the congregation and muster up just enough grace to behave appropriately.

And then the pastor says the most ridiculous crap!!! He's testing me! How long can she keep a straight face? How long before she completely loses her shit, takes her shirt off and screams profanities all the way out the sanctuary?!

Not long folks, not long.

But really...

"Reason is the devil's whore." He actually said these words on Sunday. How do I apply that to my life? What am I supposed to do with that? I mean, other than repeat it to everyone I have ever come into contact with, preach it from the mountaintops, and tattoo it on my ass?

No joke, I am ridiculously tempted. It's just too good.

I am not there for God, the Father, Son, or Holy Ghost. I am a little there for the money. And a lot there for the golden nuggets of absurd wisdom. Amen.

What I Could Have Said

2008-06-27T08:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Sister of My Ex-Boyfriend,

Thank you for your kind words. You were always lovely towards me. As for your brother, I am sorry that he spontaneously turned into a complete and total crazy ass wank-tard who married a dirty vagina (vah-JIE-nah).

I sincerely hope that someday he decides to contact his family again.

At that point, I sincerely hope you decide to shun him for being a bastard-face.

Love,
That Girl Who Isn't Bitter

The More You Know

2008-06-23T14:22:00.000-07:00

So I learned some new things this weekend!

I bought a book at a thrift shop that was published in the 80's. It's called "What's Happening to My Body? A Guide for Girls" Oh yeah. And there are drawings.

I'm a little concerned that when my egg is released that it looks like a hairy eyeball exploding out of a potato. But hey...that's science my friend.

I also appreciate the handy-dandy pronunciation guide they provided throughout the book. I mean, how else would I know how to pronounce these tricky words? Now it's clear. Thank you.

"DOOSH-ing"
"SKRO-tum"
"vah-JIE-nah"

I love learning.

Oh Don't You Remember...

2008-06-20T14:32:00.000-07:00

I have two songs stuck in my head today. From the lyrics, you might think that I was feeling blue, but for me these songs remind me of walks with my grandma, talent shows with my cousins, car rides with my parents and childhood in general.

The words are downright depressing, almost laughable even. In fact, my dad always teases my grandma about making them up. Then one year she found an entire book of these sad children's songs. I'll have to ask her what the book is called, or at least what time period these songs originated from.

I fully intend to pass them along to my someday children. Let them enjoy being the quirky kid on the playground singing lilting tunes with morbid poetry.

First...a little ditty about friendship...

Once there lived side by side
Two little girls
Used to dress just alike
Hair done in curls
Blue gingham pinafores
Stockings of red
And a sweet bonnet tied
On each pretty head

School days are over
Secrets they tell
As they go hand in hand
Down by the dell

One day a quarrel rose!
Hot tears were shed
"I don't wanna play in YOUR yard!"
And the other said

"I don't wanna play in YOUR yard
I don't like you anymore
You'll be sorry when you see me
Sliding down my cellar door

You can't holler down my rain barrel
You can't climb my apple tree!
I don't wanna play in YOUR yard
If you can't be good to me!"

(we always added a VERY whiney "WAH" at the end.)

And now....a nice song about summer time and babies!

Oh don't you remember a long time ago
Two babes in the woods
Their names I don't know
Were stolen away
On a bright summer's day
And lost in the woods
I've heard people say

And when it was night
So sad was their plight
The stars did not shine
The moon gave no light
They sobbed and they sighed
And they pitifully cried
Poor babes in the woods
They laid down and died

And when they were dead
The robins so red
Took strawberry leaves
And over them spread
And sang them a song
The whole night long
Poor babes in the woods
Poor babes in the woods

Nice! I really do love both of these little songs, but like I said...I associate them with feeling connected to my family rather then the crankiness and death that they seem to actually be about. Hmmm....

Word Up

2008-06-19T14:49:00.000-07:00

So I had a discussion the other day with my BFF, Yvanka. She shared with me that she hates the word "body." It gives her the heebily-jeebilies. She had a whole story about why - which was pretty funny- but I'll let her tell it if she so chooses. In the meantime, I want to know what words make you cringe and squirm. "Cringe" and "squirm" perhaps? And....GO!

Oh....p.s. I'm grossed out by the word "sensual."**Shudder**

People....People Who Need Alone Time

2008-06-18T14:07:00.000-07:00

I'm not a hermit or anything. I just reenergize best under conditions that lack others. This is what being introverted is truly about. I'm not particularly shy or socially awkward. What it boils down to is that I hate people. No....not you, personally...but PEOPLE.

For me, I know that it is time for this glitter paint pony to gallop on back to her personal stall when at the grocery store I get the intense urge to scream "STOP LOOKING AT ME!" and ram my fellow shoppers with my cart. Generally, people don't respond well to this.

I really enjoy spending time with my family and friends. I really enjoy my job which is mostly customer service. But then I have to go home, lock the doors, put on my jammie pants and be ALONE.

Are you picturing me in the dark, holed up in the fetal position wearing a tin foil hat? Well, stop it please. That's not a very flattering look.

Usually these moods lead me to normal, solitary activities like reading or spaz-dancing, or napping.

Cuz that's just it...people completely exhaust me. They talk and they move and they expect things. It all makes me very tired. Don't you just need those times when nobody is looking at you or wanting anything from you? Even if they ask nicely and even if you want to help them, it's still outside of yourself, and at least for me, it zaps my life's essence after awhile.

That's what I'll scream next time. "STOP ZAPPING MY LIFE'S ESSENCE!Oh..also...what aisle for tin foil?"

Funny Soup for the Soul

2008-06-18T11:46:00.000-07:00

Hilarity.

Worst Confession Of All

2008-06-18T10:10:00.000-07:00

I teared up last night watching a marathon of Tori and Dean: Inn Love. Their love is just SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL!! And I am hormonal.

Confessions Part Deux

2008-06-17T09:18:00.000-07:00

5. I like to try and solve all of the world's problems while in the shower, however this becomes a distracting pasttime, as on more than one occasion I have entered the world with one shaven and one unshaven armpit. All in the name of world peace.

6. I purchase the new issue of People magazine at the grocery store every Friday knowing full well that a subscription would save me money. I have no intention of changing this behavior.

7. I skip words and sometimes say "blah blah blah watermelon whatever" during the Lord's Prayer. I only attend church for the paycheck. (Yikes, that was a pretty bad one!)

8. I spontaneously cry when others discuss their own deaths or funerals.

9. I like to dance along when watching Footloose, Flash Dance, or Center Stage, pretending that I don't look like a total spaz, but rather EXACTLY like the characters in the movie. Sometimes I even feel annoyed that they didn't cast me in the part.

Confessions

2008-06-16T08:35:00.000-07:00

1. When I was little I was always afraid that someone was hiding behind the shower curtain. I still pull it back every time I use the restroom. Just in case.

2. Sometimes I take pictures of myself pretending to be asleep so that I can see what I look like and try to look cuter.

3. I've always loved eating Pringles with Easy Cheese. And I ALWAYS will.

4. I feel safer if I sit on the bathroom counter to brush my teeth because of all the spiders, snakes and rats I imagine hiding under the ledge by my feet.